Thursday, April 02, 2009 ♥
It's been a long time. It's been a really long time since I have this feeling again... A feeling I did not encounter for 3 years... A feeling called "Fear"...
Usually, I'm pretty sure about my skills. I'm sure enough that I'd pass final exams and I'll survive, somehow. I'm sure enough that my mark in Art subjects would get at the very least a 70%... But currently, I'm afraid.
Will I be able to pass the IGCSE? Will I be able to pass the preliminary exams? Will I be able to enter that university? Does my portfolio qualifies? Or am I just a defect?
Every time the idea of failing hit my heard--and hard at that, I'd get afraid. My heart would beat vigorously, pounding painfully against my ribcage. Again, and again... an unfamiliar, unknown, unaccepted, feeling, which is supposed to be a stranger for my calm-for-most-of-the-time heart, will sneak its way into the tight door of my heart... An unknown feeling called "fear"...
I never mean to think lowly of myself, nor do I mean to fish for any compliments or anything. I'm simply afraid. I'm simply scared because all these things involves my live, my dreams, my future, my ambition, my pride.
A lot of times, that path in front of me would get foggy, and the whole surrounding just seems to be dark and cold... And a lot of times, I'd think, "I'm lost... or am I?"
Utter confusion hits me as "fear" sneak into my mind...
Now all I can do is do my best, pray and hope.
live the glam @ 9:16 PM